manila agents

Agent: Thank you for calling (blah... blah... blah...) this is Betty Speking how may I help you?

Cust: Okay, Miss "Peking" I would like an authorization code....

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Cust: (client was keyspelling his current location....)

Agent : okay sir, that's A for "Alpha"... M for "Mike".... O for.... for... "OSAMIS"?

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Agent: May I have your last name please?
Cust: Smith
Agent: May I have ur first name?
Cust: Terry
Agent: Thank you Mr. Terry! Laughing

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Agent: okay ma'm from what i see here we need to verify your add...do you have a tel num of your neighbor libing in the same street?

cust : what?

Agent: ma'm if you have a tel number of your neighbor libing in the same street?

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Citiphone Agent: thank you for calling Metrobank, this is **** how may I help you?

Cust: ....??

Citiphone Agent: hello?

Cust: ....uh... I think I have the wrong number.

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Cust: my address is 459 quintin drive...

Agent: sir, is that Q for cucumber? Laughing

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Agent: hello this is Clarissa, how may I help you?

Cust: Hello, Susan! Susan!

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Cust: how much will i save with ur service?

Agent: sir, based on the computations that i made, if u switch to our service, we can give you a $75 savings every month!!!

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some spiels collected on our floor

1. Sir, kindly state your first and last name starting off with your area code?

2. Sir, do you happen to remember your first name, please?

3. So how long the camera?

4. Ma'am, please turn off all electrical appliances within the vicinity of your modem. This might be causing the interference.

5. Customer: So what do I do now?

Agent: Click on the OK button, and now let's keep our fingers crossed....

6. Customer: So are you a boy or a girl?

Agent: Well, let's just say a little bit of both....(Nyah!) Shocked

7. Sir, let us not tamper with the Safe mode. It was placed there for a purpose!

8. Customer: Mr. Stanley just stepped out of the house. This is his wife.

Agent: Can you ask him to step back in again, ma'am?

9. Customer: So do I turn the camera over?

Agent: Yes, sir. You would have to turn yourself over. Right, Sir. Laughing

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Agent: sir, i want you to type "restore"...R as in Robert, E as in Echo, S as in...

Cust: wait wait wait!!!...How do u spell echo?

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Agent: sir, type P as in Paul

cust: what?! B as in Ball?

Agent: no sir, P as in Peter!

cust: OWWW...B as in Beer!!!

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cust: Y as in You! E as in Eco 2 3 1

Agent: Y as in U? or Y as in...Y?

cust: Y as in YOU!! Y starts with a W! reffering to (why)

Agent: ok sir, so your service tag in W...E231

cust: F*ck You m0r0n!! (then hangs up the phone)

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agent talking to a in-house computer technician that goes to the customer's house & fix things, he called the tech support number for more help

ONSITE TECH: the customer is not with me right now, but i called in his behalf for a system exchange.

Agent: oh okay... would you know if he opened the chassis?

ONSTE TECH: i don't think so... but uh, yeah.. i don't hink he even used it yet. it just came in and it's not working and stuff, y'know?

Agent: alright.. so you mean that the system is virtually virginal..uhh. ummm.. i mean, it's still untouched?!!

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customer: I can't do this right now, just call me back ok?

agent: sure sir, I'll text you back

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customer: So you're telling me that there's no way I can monitor the minutes I use up?

agent: just look at the clock every time you call!

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customer (very irate): don't say ok, because it's not ok!@$%!^!!!!!

agent: ........ok... (at this time, nagwala ang customer) hehehe.

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agent: I'm sorry but this is the only department that handles the calls of our customers.

customer: and what department are you?

agent: call center

customer: a what?!!

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there are times that you will encounter some filipino customers in america

agent: will that be all ma'am?

customer: Oo. Ay opo! ay...um sorry, i came from a different country kasi..ay!! I'm really sorry please bear with me (and then started to laugh).

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agent: does someone live at the business location?

customer: oh God, i do hope not... it's just me, i presume.

we later found out that the customer is a cemetery manager

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agent: ok sir, can you pls type cmd on the run field

cust: what?!!!

agent: cmd sir

cust: (irate!) WHAT IS THAT?!!!

agent: ok!!! C as in CUSTOMER, M as in MUST and D as in DIE Twisted Evil

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agent: (gave an assumptive question to get the billing add) so ma'am, youre still living at P.O. Box...

customer: honey, i dont live in a box. i have a house.

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agent: if your change ever needs...err...if your need ever change please dial...

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agent: (speaking to a kid) so, is your mom in right now?

kid: wait up...mooooom!!! .......hello? (still the kid, prentending to be his mom)

agent: so your mom isnt there, is she?

kid: what are you talking about? im the lady of the house...

agent: alright, can i speak with your husband then?

kid: maaaartin! somebdy wants to speak with you... whos this? (still the kid, this time, tatay naman cya kunwari)

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agent: Michael Sparks is listed in your account. Do you know this person?

cust: no, who's that? Michael Sparts?

agent: Michael SparKs sir, that's SparKs. (iniistress yung K, coz he says it with a "T") again, that's, Michael Sparks, instead of a "T" that's a K. K for kilo or kitchen.

cust: What? hey listen, im a senior citizen. u got to pronounce it right. u have a lousy pronunciation of sparTs. Is it michael? or just Sparts?

agent: just michael sparks sir. (naiinis na ko..)

cust: JUST michael? J-U-S-T Michael?

agent: (shouts) MICHAEL SPARKSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! Evil or Very Mad

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Agent: Ma'am, Is that C as in Scissors?