manila agents

Agent: Thank you for calling (blah... blah... blah...) this is Betty Speking how may I help you?

Cust: Okay, Miss "Peking" I would like an authorization code....

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Cust: (client was keyspelling his current location....)

Agent : okay sir, that's A for "Alpha"... M for "Mike".... O for.... for... "OSAMIS"?

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Agent: May I have your last name please?
Cust: Smith
Agent: May I have ur first name?
Cust: Terry
Agent: Thank you Mr. Terry! Laughing

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Agent: okay ma'm from what i see here we need to verify your add...do you have a tel num of your neighbor libing in the same street?

cust : what?

Agent: ma'm if you have a tel number of your neighbor libing in the same street?

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Citiphone Agent: thank you for calling Metrobank, this is **** how may I help you?

Cust: ....??

Citiphone Agent: hello?

Cust: ....uh... I think I have the wrong number.

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Cust: my address is 459 quintin drive...

Agent: sir, is that Q for cucumber? Laughing

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Agent: hello this is Clarissa, how may I help you?

Cust: Hello, Susan! Susan!

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Cust: how much will i save with ur service?

Agent: sir, based on the computations that i made, if u switch to our service, we can give you a $75 savings every month!!!

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some spiels collected on our floor

1. Sir, kindly state your first and last name starting off with your area code?

2. Sir, do you happen to remember your first name, please?

3. So how long the camera?

4. Ma'am, please turn off all electrical appliances within the vicinity of your modem. This might be causing the interference.

5. Customer: So what do I do now?

Agent: Click on the OK button, and now let's keep our fingers crossed....

6. Customer: So are you a boy or a girl?

Agent: Well, let's just say a little bit of both....(Nyah!) Shocked

7. Sir, let us not tamper with the Safe mode. It was placed there for a purpose!

8. Customer: Mr. Stanley just stepped out of the house. This is his wife.

Agent: Can you ask him to step back in again, ma'am?

9. Customer: So do I turn the camera over?

Agent: Yes, sir. You would have to turn yourself over. Right, Sir. Laughing

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Agent: sir, i want you to type "restore"...R as in Robert, E as in Echo, S as in...

Cust: wait wait wait!!!...How do u spell echo?

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Agent: sir, type P as in Paul

cust: what?! B as in Ball?

Agent: no sir, P as in Peter!

cust: OWWW...B as in Beer!!!

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cust: Y as in You! E as in Eco 2 3 1

Agent: Y as in U? or Y as in...Y?

cust: Y as in YOU!! Y starts with a W! reffering to (why)

Agent: ok sir, so your service tag in W...E231

cust: F*ck You m0r0n!! (then hangs up the phone)

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agent talking to a in-house computer technician that goes to the customer's house & fix things, he called the tech support number for more help

ONSITE TECH: the customer is not with me right now, but i called in his behalf for a system exchange.

Agent: oh okay... would you know if he opened the chassis?

ONSTE TECH: i don't think so... but uh, yeah.. i don't hink he even used it yet. it just came in and it's not working and stuff, y'know?

Agent: alright.. so you mean that the system is virtually virginal..uhh. ummm.. i mean, it's still untouched?!!

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customer: I can't do this right now, just call me back ok?

agent: sure sir, I'll text you back

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customer: So you're telling me that there's no way I can monitor the minutes I use up?

agent: just look at the clock every time you call!

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customer (very irate): don't say ok, because it's not ok!@$%!^!!!!!

agent: ........ok... (at this time, nagwala ang customer) hehehe.

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agent: I'm sorry but this is the only department that handles the calls of our customers.

customer: and what department are you?

agent: call center

customer: a what?!!

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there are times that you will encounter some filipino customers in america

agent: will that be all ma'am?

customer: Oo. Ay opo! ay...um sorry, i came from a different country kasi..ay!! I'm really sorry please bear with me (and then started to laugh).

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agent: does someone live at the business location?

customer: oh God, i do hope not... it's just me, i presume.

we later found out that the customer is a cemetery manager

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agent: ok sir, can you pls type cmd on the run field

cust: what?!!!

agent: cmd sir

cust: (irate!) WHAT IS THAT?!!!

agent: ok!!! C as in CUSTOMER, M as in MUST and D as in DIE Twisted Evil

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agent: (gave an assumptive question to get the billing add) so ma'am, youre still living at P.O. Box...

customer: honey, i dont live in a box. i have a house.

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agent: if your change ever needs...err...if your need ever change please dial...

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agent: (speaking to a kid) so, is your mom in right now?

kid: wait up...mooooom!!! .......hello? (still the kid, prentending to be his mom)

agent: so your mom isnt there, is she?

kid: what are you talking about? im the lady of the house...

agent: alright, can i speak with your husband then?

kid: maaaartin! somebdy wants to speak with you... whos this? (still the kid, this time, tatay naman cya kunwari)

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agent: Michael Sparks is listed in your account. Do you know this person?

cust: no, who's that? Michael Sparts?

agent: Michael SparKs sir, that's SparKs. (iniistress yung K, coz he says it with a "T") again, that's, Michael Sparks, instead of a "T" that's a K. K for kilo or kitchen.

cust: What? hey listen, im a senior citizen. u got to pronounce it right. u have a lousy pronunciation of sparTs. Is it michael? or just Sparts?

agent: just michael sparks sir. (naiinis na ko..)

cust: JUST michael? J-U-S-T Michael?

agent: (shouts) MICHAEL SPARKSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! Evil or Very Mad

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Agent: Ma'am, Is that C as in Scissors?

From a Cebu call center...

favorite line #1: "thank you for calling so much" (so much jud, daghan na kaayong thank you na bai.)

favorite line #2: "thank you so much for calling to you" (bwahahhaah!)

favorite line #3: "i'm breaking up on you,too" ( uuuuy! boyfriend-girlfriend mo?)

favorite line #4: well first, can i have your first and last name first?...ok for that one...you first have to save an itinerary first... ( this guy's favorite word must be "first')

favorite line #5: "the passenger has to die first before you will get a refund" (hihihi ayus!)

favorite line #6: "for this one you have to sign up first before you have to be signed up,ok?"(obviously kana ang meaning intawon!)

favorite line #7: "i can see that this is an unreserved reservation"

favorite line #8: "the sign up process is very free " you mean there are sign-up processes that are slightly free or half-free?"

favorite line #9: "how age is your son?"(hahahahaha! hala sigi paningkamut ug maayo!)

favorite line #10: "do you have a pen and a ballpen?" ( how about a pencil? do i need to have it,too? )

favorite line #11: "please bring a government photo issued id" (laluma sa english uy!)

favorite line #12: "could you repeat that again,please?"

favorite line #13:" because actually you need to actually sign up for an account first"( murag artista ba..actually..)

favorite line #14: "that is eastern pacific time" (buot buot kag time zone doh!)

favorite line #15: "can i have your sine in and location pless..."(asa na ang american accent training?)

favorite line #16: "i see here that this is just a reserved reservation" ( uhuh! that's what a reservation is supposed to be!)

favorite line #17: (for an opening line..) "thank you so much for that information... "(yeah right! the caller hasn't even said anything yet!)

favorite line #18: ( a call during Christmas day,an agent had this for a closing remark! ) "Thank you for calling and happy halloween!" (YIKES! i don't think Santa is gonna give you presents for this:( )

favorite line #19: "have a...have a...have a... have a happy holiday!"

favorite line #20: "have a...have a...have a...have a happy day!" (trying to find for a better adjective for a day,huh?)

favorite line #22: "would you like to reserve this for january nine or january tane?" (uhuh! american accent training!)

favorite line #23: "well,it defends..." (i repeat! american accent training!)

favorite line #24: (new dead air verbiage!)" if i don't hear from you within 5 minutes, i'm afraid i will have to release this call..."(you're willing to wait that long?)

favorite line #25: "i'm sorry i can't seem to access your account. are you sure you're already a passenger of expedia.com?" (the passenger is calling to purchase a flight meaning he is not yet a passenger!!!! for heaven's sake!)

favorite line #26:" i'm sorry but my supervisor is having a conversation right now..."( conversation jud? )

favorite line #27: "ok you will be leaving 9am in the morning" ( wait lang! karon pa ko! is there a 9pm in the morning? )

favorite line #28: "would you want to add 1 children for this itinerary?" ( 1 children?! )

favorite line #29:" thank you for calling, Mr. coupon" (pwede diay ta makabunyag og passenger?)

favorite line #30: "how many passengers will be staying in the room?" ( uy! flying hotel room? )

favorite line #31: "i'll just tell him nalang!" ( karon pa ko! international language na diay ang tagalog!)

favorite line #32: "ok for that one let me verify with my computer...according to my computer..."( i would love to get that computer...what brand?)

favorite line #33: "if i don't see you within 5 seconds, i'm afraid...".( my goodness! we are in the philippines. how on earth can the caller be here for you to see him in 5 seconds?!)

favorite line #34: (passenger shouting on the other line) "sige..sige...sige..."

favorite line #35: "would you like to add and attractions and services for this one? "( asa dapita sa purchase path ang "and attractions and services'? wa lagi ko kita ani?)

favorite line #36: "what i can offer you is a one times courtesy void "( naay two times? )

favorite line #37: "let me just walk you to the set-up "( mura man walk you to the door...kimpang ang caller? asa na dapita ang set-up?)

favorite line #38: "i'm sorry but there is something wrong with the airplane..."( passenger: what? my flight will still be in two months!)

favorite line #39:" i need to verify this one so let me just hold you for a while,ok?" (uy! very sweet na agent!)

favorite line #40: "i'm sorry but because of the queue that we are having, i'm afraid my supervisor is taking a call right now.. "(passenger asks how many calls are waiting?) "we are actually having 59 calls on queue..." (sus! giduka na gali ang uban kay walay calls!)



**** hoy D, yung sa manila yung isusunod ko. padala mo na. hehehe

byebye muna..

guyz

am going home finally !

the sad part :-(

walang kuryente at walang internet sa amin. wala din kaming generator, walang solar chorva.

kaya di ako makakapag blog. sorry po.babalik naman ako.thank you po. i lab shoo.